User blog:BlueFrackle/Lewis Carroll vs. Oscar Wilde
It's time for another fanmade, this time between two great authors from Victorian England. On one side we have poet, mathematician, photographer and inventor, Lewis Carroll! On the other side the sophisticated satirist and playwright who was one of the greatest celebrities of his time, Oscar Wilde! Who's going to win this? Cast as I've imagined it: *Nice Peter as Lewis Carroll *Zach Sherwin as Oscar Wilde *EpicLLOYD as Douglas Adams (cameo) Lewis' location is Wonderland. Oscar's is a living room, richly decorated with lilies and blue china. Battle FANMADE RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER!!! LEWIS CARROLL VS. OSCAR WILDE!!! BEGIN! Lewis Carroll: Follow me through the rabbit hole to another dimension Underground and filled with mathematical equations On which logic itself bows down to my wit So I twist it and bend it to make it all the more sweet Children love my perfect poetry, whereas you're just a croaker Are you mad because Florence left you for a Stoker? Right now I want to kick your dandy ass straight back to Ireland Why, your prose's got as much content as the map to Snark Island! I'll bandersnatch your face and make it like a slithy tove Lyrically overcome you, there's no puzzle I can't solve! Douglas Adams approves my use of number 42 Ensuring your defeat I made this verse an acrostic too! Oscar Wilde: So, Mr. Dodgson, I hear you like to bunbury Send the girls off 'cause you're about to feel my Wilde fury You must be high like your caterpillar to think you can win Quick, fetch the nyctograph, else you'll soon forget this dream! Row a boat with the dean's daughters? You better behave! I cut your head like a Jabberwock, serve it on a silver plate! Your nonsense rap is like Sylvie and Bruno: not selling You cast yourself as the Dodo, now, that's foretelling! You're a wicked perverted geek, and a real numbers freak But your mind's more screwed up than Dorian Gray's pic Photographing nude little girls, that's just sick! Lewis Carroll: Coward lies! You should be charged for these things that you invent! My work is art, not fetish - got their parents' consent My rap will scare you 'til your waistcoat's white! You'll shiver! I'm a Butcher; you never caught sight of a Beaver Go cry on Bosie's shoulder while I cook mock-author soup You died exiled in France and I bet nobody misses you! And now that we're done here, I'll make you softly disappear For the snark was Lewis, you see? Oscar Wilde: I'm bored by this stuttering hack and I'll be Earnest Didn't expect as my opponent a Woman of No Importance And the crap your books inspired? Good lord, it's hurting! So much bullshit from American McGee and Tim Burton! I'm about to shove you headfirst Through the Looking Glass We're all in the gutter, but you'll soon be seeing stars WHO WON?! YOU DECIDE!!! FANMADE RAP BATTLES OF WHATEVER!!! Category:Blog posts